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A songagram
by Tony Crafter
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If I Only Had A Brain (The Wizard of Oz)

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If I Only Had A Brain
I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel ev'ry riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln,
If you only had a brain.

Oh I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore,
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more.

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry
Life would be ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain.

I could be another Lincoln
Or wily Willy Clinton
For ninety years I'd reign,
I would be a fine orator
And a smoother operator
If I only had a brain.

I would dance like Fred Astaire
Tell lies like Tony Blair
And act like Michael Caine.
I'd fulfill my folks' ambition,
Hunt for higher intuition
If I only had a brain.

Hah! I can't tell you why
I'm short of thought 'n' that's the truth
It could've been an injury I had in youth,
Confused? Why buddy, so am I - huh?

I would henceforth be unfuddled
Be fluent and unmuddled
Thorn-sharp 'n' not inane,
I'd be wary and defensive
Never churlish or offensive
If I only had a brain.

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