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Archives: Aug 2008
New Orleans evacuating to avoid Katrina replay

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Archives

2008: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct
Earlier: Archives

New Orleans evacuating to avoid Katrina replay
New Orleans evacuating to avoid Katrina replay = Gustav will attack everyone in area! Paranoid, no?
(by Adie Pena)

Fed-up neighborhood passes one-dog rule
The 'one-dog rule' in Lima, Peru = Our pug alone? End limit here!
(by Adie Pena)

Gulf Coast residents flee Gustav
Gulf Coast residents flee Gustav = Left... Suggest us - find cars to leave!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Duchovny in Rehab
Duchovny in Rehab = Hunch? No, I very bad!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Pressure grows on Thai prime minister to resign
Thai prime minister Samak Sundaravej to resign? = Sirs, I junk or I save that grim, desperate main man?
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 30, 2008

Thai PM Samak refuses to resign
Thai PM Samak refuses to resign = Threats & gossips make me unfair!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Remember your loved one - as a diamond
Remember your loved one - as a diamond = Or devalued random memories on eBay
(by Dharam)
Our "remembrance" diamonds = Or I can mourn dead members
(by Adie Pena)

Deadly hurricane roars into Cuba
Deadly hurricane roars into Cuba = A current broaches your land - I aid!
(by Dharam)

Gustav grows stronger on approach to Cuba
Gustav grows stronger on approach to Cuba = Baggers group to succor Havana towns' port?
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Russia moves to calm Georgia row
Russia moves to calm Georgia row = Rove amigos tour as malice grows
(by Dharam)

Pop Your Candidate Into The White House
Pop Your Candidate Into The White House = Oh, I petition here: "Who'd you cut and paste?"
(by Adie Pena)

Gore: Obama is new Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the USA: = "Help free the U.S., this nation's extant children, Obama!"
(by Adie Pena)

Obama Takes the Fight to McCain
Obama takes the fight to McCain = His attack in the 'Game of combat'
(by Pinchas Aronas)

McCain-Palin?
McCain and Pawlenty? = New plan? Dynamic act?
McCain and Romney? = Any darn comic men?
McCain ... and Palin! = In panic ... and calm.
(by Adie Pena)

Sarah Palin & McCain's Ham-Handed Tribal Gamble and Continuing Arrogance
A plan, sir? Ah! = ... Sarah Palin!
(by Adie Pena)

John McCain/Sarah Palin will be the ticket
John McCain and Sarah Palin ticket = Major handicap: Ancient than slick!
(by Adie Pena)

Profile: Fierce competitor, a.k.a. Sarah Barracuda
Sarah Louise Heath Palin a.k.a. Sarah Barracuda = Aha, a curious leader at Alaska! Hah, sharp brain!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

The Main Event: McCain-Palin vs. Obama-Biden
The McCain-Palin or Obama-Biden team? = Admire the capable combination, man!
The McCain-Palin or Obama-Biden team? = Incompatible. Abandon them, America!
(by Adie Pena)

Sarah Palin NRA Life Member, Fisherman & Hunter
Sarah Palin = Ha! Is NRA pal!
(by Adie Pena)

McCain's Palin surprise has journalists abuzz
McCain's Palin surprise has journalists abuzz = Municipal Sarah is crass puzzle. Just 'no brains'?
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Obama ad on Palin avoids criticism, her name
Obama ad on Palin avoids criticism, her name = Pardon Sarah (media bait) in McCain's oil move
(by Dharam)


Aug 29, 2008

McCain picks woman as his running mate
Vice presidential running mate chosen = Untested Palin given her senior McCain!
Vice presidential running mate chosen = McCain tries the undeserving one: Palin!
(by Adie Pena)

McCain takes heavy gamble with female running mate
Governor Sarah Heath Palin = Have harsh regional patron
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Hillary Weighs In on Palin
Hillary weighs in on Palin = Ninny, I go - I will help Sarah!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Thai Protest Of Premier Stops Trains And Planes
Thai protest of premier stops trains and planes = O, rioters in Thailand prefer most snap, apt steps!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

McCain Chooses Palin as Running Mate
McCain chooses Palin as running mate = Special comment is announcing - 'Sarah!'
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Being A Scot, by Sean Connery & Murray Grigor
Connery's "Being a Scot" = "I Got Concerns" by Sean
Connery's memoirs 'Being a Scot' = "To comb my screen origins." - Sean
(by Adie Pena)

Obama says he'll cut taxes, end oil dependence
A clean break from the "broken politics in Washington and the failed policies of George W. Bush"? = Before we can, he's being placed in a remarkable position to finish laughing stock of the world!
(by Adie Pena)

Mystery 'iPhone Girl' generates Internet intrigue
"China's prettiest factory girl." = Strict, glittery iPhone fracas?
(by Adie Pena)

Save Us From 'Traitor'
Save Us From 'Traitor' = Famous vista - terror
(by Pinchas Aronas)

David Duchovny in sex addiction treatment
"Californication" star David Duchovny in sex addiction treatment = Noticed an act: Vivid, romantic touch and randy "seX-Files" tradition!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 28, 2008

Why it's so hard to swat a fly
Why it's so hard to swat a fly? = Thy swoosh: fatal as dry wit.
(by Adriano)

Paul McCartney gig revives Israeli Beatles tale
A "Zionist urban legend" = Beatles-razing? I dunno.
(by Adie Pena)

McCain congratulates Obama
McCain congratulates Obama = Autocratic blanco-mans' game
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Obama 'ready' to be President: Clinton
From Bill Clinton: "Obama is ready to be the President." = Embattled Hillary robbed of nomination. (See script.)
(by Adie Pena)

Raspy Neil Diamond disappoints Ohio concertgoers
"My diagnosed acute laryngitis." = Neil Diamond? It's a grey guy's act!
(by Adie Pena)

Quinn introduced segment about Hillary Clinton by playing Elton John's "The Bitch Is Back"
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton = An ally? Control this horrid name!
(by Adie Pena)

The Democratic National Convention showcases strengths of women
The Democratic National Convention = Noted hot, vital American connection.
(by Adie Pena)

Israel, After 43 Years, Is Ready for Beatlemania
"The Beatles have an insufficient artistic level and cannot add to the spiritual and cultural life of the youth in Israel." = Four decades and three years late, plentiful vilifications aside, that hit cute bunch is a fun, total (even national!) thrill.
(by Adie Pena)

Rage Against The Machine And Thousands of Protesters Rock the DNC ... Peacefully
Rage Against the Machine = The arts imagine a change
(by Adie Pena)

Rat meat in demand as inflation bites
Rat meat in demand as inflation bites = Bad animal infestations terminated!
Rat meat in demand = Main damned treat!
(by Adie Pena)

Growing new ear hairs that can boost hearing: study
Growing new ear hairs = Hearing range? Wow, sir!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 27, 2008

Gustav kills 22; US Gulf Coast prepares
Gustav kills; US Gulf Coast prepares = Savage gusts lurk, Spill forecast up.
(by David Hyer)

Obama nomination due today
Obama nomination due today = No...no doubt, I am a man! Aye, do it!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Clinton Rallies Her Troops to Fight for an Obama Victory
Clinton rallies her troops to fight for an Obama victory = Therefor Hillary favors strong politician to combat, no?
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Nicollette Sheridan, Michael Bolton end engagement
Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton = Both end reconciliation. Small deal then?
(by Adie Pena)

Airliner hijacked from Darfur to Libya
Darfur to Libya = Fly a rabid tour!
Airliner hijacked from Darfur to Libya = Dark aerial horror! In difficult jam! Bye!
(by Adie Pena)

Olympics Ratings Set Record
Olympics Ratings Set Record = Closer! sport gains my credit
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Kara DioGuardi joins `Idol' judges for NYC tryouts
Kara DioGuardi joins 'American Idol' = I'm a.k.a. a sordid, ironical judge on air.
(by Adie Pena)

Priest cancels nun beauty contest
Father Antonio Rungi = "O, ignore that fair nun!"
(by Adie Pena)

Rice wraps up Mid East peace push
Rice wraps up Mid East peace push = America whipped? Passes up truce!
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Aug 26, 2008

Priest to hold nun beauty pageant
Priest to hold nun beauty pageant = A teary unblushing Pope to attend!
(by Adie Pena)

Malaysia relents - bans all bans on Avril Lavigne
Gets an Avril ... = ... Lavigne star!
(by Adie Pena)

Michelle Obama: "American dream endures"
Michelle Obama = I'll become a "ham"
(by Adie Pena)

Obama and What it Takes
Obama and What it Takes = OK, a mad bet with a Satan!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Warners suit takes issue with Indian film's title
'Hari Puttar -- A Comedy of Terrors' = From a 'Harry Potter' actor: "I'd sue!"
(by Adie Pena)

Canada says 12 dead in food poisoning outbreak
The Maple Leaf Foods Incorporated = Can form a list of other dead people
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 25, 2008

McCain camp lashes 'outrageous' Madonna
Ugh! Filmed Madonna concert jab at horrible ... = ... John McCain, Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe
(by Adie Pena)

American Idol Adds Judge No. 4
American Idol Adds Judge Four = Jade's found: calmer DioGuardi
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Actors paid to line up for iPhone launch
Actors paid to line up for iPhone launch = Ironic! Thus, Apple out of reach in Poland.
(by Adie Pena)

Israel Frees Palestinian Prisoners
Israel frees Palestinian prisoners = Pitiless sinners in a safe pale? Error!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

The torch is passed, from Beijing epic to London bus queue
Boris Johnson, Jimmy Page, Leona Lewis & David Beckham = Ah! Hip London came; massive 'jam' works. Bye, old Beijing!
Boris Johnson, Jimmy Page, Leona Lewis & David Beckham = Beijing's Olympic behavior smashed weak London 'jam.'
(by Adie Pena)

Beckham Saves The Day In Beijing
The Games of the Twenty Ninth Olympiad held at Beijing, China. = Hey, I find that both Jimmy Page, Leona Lewis can't end the night!
(by Adie Pena)

Beckham Saves The Day In Beijing
The Games of the Twenty Ninth Olympiad held at Beijing, China. = Hey, I find that both Jimmy Page, Leona Lewis can't end the night!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 24, 2008

US hoops back on top, beats Spain for gold medal
US Olympic basketball team beats Spain for the gold = Famous Kobe Bryant tells: "Bag this special top medal!"
(by Adie Pena)

Higher Fees for Mortgages
Higher fees for mortgages = Heigh, offer staggers more!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Samuel Wansiru shatters record to take gold in marathon
Kenyan Samuel Kamau Wansiru = Many knew I make a run as usual
(by Adie Pena)

Obama-Biden team previews their campaign strategy
Obama-Biden team previews their campaign strategy = A grave campers aim to win the President-game by bait
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Aug 23, 2008

Obama Adds Foreign Expertise to Ticket
Obama Adds Foreign Expertise to Ticket = Artifice: took aged Biden as most expert
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Sources: Obama picks Joe Biden as VP candidate
Sources: Obama picks Joe Biden as VP candidate = Media scoops a subject in advance (a bird spoke!)
(by Dharam)

Obama Chooses Biden as Running Mate
Obama's Vice-President = Impact overseas? Biden!
Obama chooses Biden as running mate = Obtain immense U.S. changes abroad, no?
(by Adie Pena)

Bolt goes 3-for-3, adding relay gold to 100, 200
The Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt = Ran ... tops the main race ... is jubilant!
(by Adie Pena)

Argentina beats Nigeria 1-0 for Olympic gold
Argentina against ... = ... a stagnant Nigeria!
(by Adie Pena)

Saber-toothed cat fossils discovered in Venezuela
Saber-toothed cat fossils discovered in Venezuela = Felines cast in tar -- Did housecats, zoo breeds evolve?
(by Dharam)

Baby-name experts weigh in on Stefani's son `Zuma'
Zuma Nesta Rock Stefani Rossdale = And to realize names of stars suck!
(by Adie Pena)

China to Finish as Top Olympic Gold Medal Winner
China to Finish as Top Olympic Gold Medal Winner = Olympiad-host won, inclined America flops thing.
(by Pinchas Aronas)

At top of Greenland, new worrisome cracks in ice
At top of Greenland, new worrisome cracks in ice = Proof: Recent warm conditions weaken glaciers
(by Dharam)

Yoga eases physical and mental menopause symptoms
Got the menopause symptoms? = Yoga must pop these moments!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 22, 2008

Will the U.S. develop a death ray?
Will the U.S. develop a death ray? = Ha, love, updated war is yet hell!
(by Dharam)

Who gets second billing on the presidential ballot?
Who gets second billing on the presidential ballot? = I hope (s)he's intelligent, strong-willed, not a cad blob.
(by Dharam)

Glam rocker Gary Glitter agrees to return to London
English rocker Paul Francis Gadd (Gary Glitter) = Dare get a lurking rapist of scraggly children?
(by Adie Pena)

Obama: I've decided on my running mate
Obama: I've decided on my running mate (but am not telling yet) = My old yet living grandma cautioned, "Be in tune; be at moment."
(by Dharam)

Court gives green light to "boobs on bikes" parade
A-OK, no? Bobbies spared ... = ... "Boobs on Bikes" Parade
(by Adie Pena)

Harvard reclaims top spot in latest US News list
Harvard, Princeton, Yale, MIT and Stanford = Dandy rich, darn smart learn at Top Five, no?
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 21, 2008

149 dead in plane crash at Madrid airport
Am totally sad in a plane crash ... = ... to La Palma, the Canary Islands.
(by Adie Pena)

Madrid air crash: Spanair profile
A plane crashed at the Madrid, Spain airport! = Hot, charred Spanair made a last pained trip!
(by Adie Pena)

Tropical Storm Fay forces more evacuations in Florida
The Tropical Storm Fay = That peril for my coast
(by Pinchas Aronas)

"Bigfoot" was rubber gorilla costume
"Bigfoot" was rubber gorilla costume = Bloggers wrote about our fib claims
(by Dharam)

U.S. unbeatables win -- and lose
Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor = Medals makers' worth in tiny array
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Sixth 'Taste' Discovered - Calcium
Sweet, sour, salty, bitter, savory ... and calcium-y? = Basically a discovery, must try our new "taste"!
(by Adie Pena)

Biden is Democratic favorite for Obama's No. 2
Senator Biden is the Democratic favorite for No. Two = Obama now drifted into one first-rate voter's choice!
(by Adie Pena)

Ricky Martin a Dad Times Two
Ricky Martin a Dad Times Two = To media - tricky twins drama
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Aug 20, 2008

eBay: The Doldrum Years
eBay: The Doldrum Years = The loaded buyers army
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Georgia Bigfoot Hoax
The Georgia Bigfoot Hoax = Oh, to forego a gag exhibit!
(by Adie Pena)

Activists detained after lighting up "Free Tibet" LED throwies banner near Olympics
"Free Tibet" LED throwies banner = Detain "newer" rebels for the bit?
(by Adie Pena)

Obama likely to announce VP this week
Obama's VP choice = A BHO camp's voice
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 19, 2008

Military favors McCain, poll finds
Military favors McCain, poll finds = Army corps fain lifts old civil man
(by Pinchas Aronas)

China's Track Superstar Drops Out
The Chinese hurdles star Liu Xiang = Leg aches; hinders last run. Uh, I exit.
(by Adie Pena)

Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf resigns
Pakistani President Musharraf resigns = Past U.S. friendship arrangement is a risk!
(by Adie Pena)

Musharraf's resignation accepted
Musharraf's resignation accepted = Impact surfacing: No tears are shed.
(by Dharam)


Aug 18, 2008

New porn channel lets Canadians strut their stuff
New porn channel lets Canadians strut their stuff = "Au naturale" (French) trend spawns consistent filth
(by Dharam)
Real Productions = Clear porn studio!
(by Adie Pena)

Phil Collins Trumps Paul McCartney in Mega-Divorce
Rock musician Phil Collins' mega-divorce settlement = Hero-seducing vampire collects man's million ticket!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 17, 2008

Elvis fans ignore rain for graveside vigil
The "Candlelight Vigil" anniversary procession = Elvis, eh? Go visit 'n' cry near his plot in Graceland
(by Adie Pena)

Forecast: Floridians should prepare for hurricane
Tropical Storm Fay = To impact Fla. Sorry!
(by Adie Pena)

Stallone explores Soviet roots with vodka deal
"There is a bit of Russian in all of us." = Oh, sure is! Stallone is a bit "ruffian"!
(by Adie Pena)

Obama, McCain talk issues at pastor's forum
Obama, McCain talk issues at pastor's forum = I must speak of amoral acts, Russian combat
(by Dharam)

Georgia men claim hairy, frozen corpse is Bigfoot
A beast from the woods of northern Georgia = Get me soon a rare "Bigfoot" for the darn show!
(by Adie Pena)

First Photo of John Edwards Love Child
Senator Edwards and divorcee Rielle Hunter = A new love child interested our darn readers!
(by Adie Pena)

Beijing's Water Cube is "swimming temple"
"The Water Cube" = Wet race tub, eh?
(by Adie Pena)

Reports: DeGeneres and de Rossi wed in Calif.
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi = Indeed, I see real partners longed so.
(by Adie Pena)

Phelps claims Olympic-record eighth gold medal with relay win
Phelps claims Olympic-record eighth gold medal with relay win = World champion swimmer repeatedly placed highly -- I got chills!
(by Dharam)

Bolt breaks 100-meter record, wins Olympic gold
Sprinter Usain Bolt = Notable spirit runs
(by Adie Pena)

Barack Obama | Change We Can Believe In
The "Senator Obama for President" campaign = A sane, pragmatic, reform-based option then?
(by Adie Pena)

Madonna: An unlikely inspiration for 50-plus set
Madonna is turning fifty = Fans finding maturity, no?
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 16, 2008

Debate coaches lose cool, 1 pulls down his pants
The debate coaches = Oh, each acted beset!
(by Adie Pena)

'Swirl face' paedophile jailed in Thailand
Canadian teacher Christopher Paul Neil is jailed = A paedophile can hear "Justice!" in a children's trial.
(by Adie Pena)

'Swirl face' paedophile jailed in Thailand
Canadian Christopher Paul Neil = Unchristian, carnal paedophile!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 15, 2008

Leonardo: Artist, inventor, matchmaker?
The artist Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci = I praised this old inventor, idea creator.
(by Adie Pena)

People Really Do Look Better When You Drink
Marcus Munafo's "beer goggles" experimentation = From panting men: "A slut became gorgeous, sexier!"
(by Adie Pena)

Burying The Lead On Jerome Corsi's Phony "Obama Nation"
Jerome Corsi's 'The Obama Nation' = He jots more race abominations!
(by Adie Pena)

Banging walls and shouting obscenities... How a couple's rowdy sex sessions made their neighbours' lives hell
Adam Hinton and Kerry Norris = Rather darn noisy kind ram on!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 14, 2008

World's tallest woman dies in Indiana at age 53
The world's tallest woman died in Indiana yesterday = It is Sandy Allen's day. Worldwide attention made her.
(by Adie Pena)

Yao Ming falters, lets countrymen down
The Games of the Twenty Ninth Olympiad held at Beijing, China = The thin, gifted Yao Ming then joined his new patchy ball team.
(by Adie Pena)

Russia Takes Gori
Tbilisi, Georgia = Gori? It's a big lie!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 13, 2008

Elvis and Priscilla Barbies: A must have for fans
The Elvis and Priscilla wedding dolls set = i.e., This'll swell Graceland's top dividends!
(by Adie Pena)

You and Me - Beijing 2008 Olympic Games Theme Song Music Video and Lyric (by Sarah Brightman and Liu Huan)
"You and Me / From one world / We are family / Travel dream / A thousand miles / Meeting in Beijing / Come together / Put your hand in mine / You and me / From one world / We are family." = Welcome to the modern Games' atrium, a joyful milieu and playground where I and we did remember to live in agreement, union, harmony if only for a moment or a few days.
(by Adie Pena)

UK govt: Britons are behaving badly abroad
Britons are behaving badly in Spain = Plain inebriate S.O.B.s having brandy!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 12, 2008

Winnie-the-Pooh held for robbery?
Winnie-the-Pooh held for robbery? = In brief, prowled honey. Oh, bother!
(by Dharam)

Mystery torch guard becomes Chinese sex symbol
"Second Brother on the Right" = Don't bother torch. He reigns!
(by Adie Pena)

Unabomber objects to cabin display at Newseum
Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski's cabin = Knocks on my bizarre house? It can be bad!
(by Adie Pena)

Make room for Phelps as winningest Olympian ever
Michael Phelps wins gold medals = Swim legend: "I hold a champ's spell!"
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 11, 2008

Padraig Harrington wins PGA for 2nd straight major
The Irishman Padraig Harrington = PGA mirth, sir! Hint: Darn hero again!
(by Adie Pena)

Nationwide "Thunder" Boycott in the Works
Nationwide "Tropic Thunder" boycott = Boy! Do without "retard" concept, innit?
(by Adie Pena)

Propane explosions in Toronto force evacuation
Propane blasts force evacuations early Sunday = See Toronto Canadians brave a scary fuel supply
(by Adie Pena)

Russia expands its bombing in South Ossetia
War in the Republic of South Ossetia = Without hope, albeit Russian forces?
(by Adie Pena)

Soul Musician Isaac Hayes Dies at 65
The soul singer Hayes is dead = Eulogises shiny-headed star
(by Adie Pena)

Residents flee Toronto explosion
Residents flee Toronto explosion = Let's speed or lose to inferno toxin!
(by Dharam)

Olympic shooters hug as their countries do battle
Olympic shooters hugged as their countries do battle = Bloodshed stirs at home, yet touring girls touch peace.
(by Dharam)

John Edwards' ex-mistress won't get a paternity test for daughter
John Edwards' ex-mistress won't get a paternity test for daughter = R. Hunter enjoyed with sex partners & forgot stated 'twists' damage?
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Russia Said to Tell U.S. Saakashvili 'Must Go'
Russia Said to Tell U.S. Saakashvili 'Must Go' = His 'a visual, disastrous mistake' galls. Out!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

African 'tree of life' recast as European superfruit
The monkey bread fruit of Senegal, Africa = Hurry! As an offer, go take medical benefit!
(by Adie Pena)

Spanish shopkeeper finds Homer Simpson euro
The couch potato Homer Simpson = Is on a hottest euro. (Chomp! Chomp!)
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 10, 2008

Cloner Dogged by Sex Scandal
"I love him so much that I would ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me to." = I unveil a kinkiest case ever: How a hot McKinney outwitted and humped a somewhat foolish Mormon stud!
(by Adie Pena)

Ex-senator Edwards admits affair
Ex-senator Edwards admits affair = To affirm area-wide sex standards!
(by Adie Pena)

AU to drop Mauritania after coup
AU to drop Mauritania after coup = O, if crap reputation & mad aura: Out!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Prophet Muhammad novel scrapped
'The Jewel of Medina' = O, jihad-men feel wet!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Bernie Mac Dies at 50
Bernie Mac Dies at fifty = If at cemetery, bad finis
(by Pinchas Aronas)
The actor Bernie Mac dies = Comic star: "I need breathe!"
(by Adie Pena)

Bernie Mac Dies at 50
Bernie Mac Dies at fifty = If at cemetery, bad finis
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Aug 9, 2008

FACTBOX: Five Facts about Beijing's 'Bird's Nest'
The twenty-ninth Summer Olympics at the Beijing National Stadium = Aptly join them athletic unity games within a "Bird's Nest" monument
(by Adie Pena)

Drug dealers turn Wash. vineyards into pot farms
Wapato, Washington = Who wants pot again?
(by Adie Pena)

U.S. men's soccer team arrives in Tianjin for Olympics
Let the (soccer) games begin in Tianjin = Athletes screaming: "Not Beijing. Nice!"
(by Adie Pena)

Relative of US Olympic coach killed in Beijing
The Drum Tower = Murder the two!
(by Adie Pena)

Russia Invades Georgia
Russia invades Georgia = Or give 'USSR' ideas again?
(by Adie Pena)

Ex-senator Edwards admits affair
Ex-senator Edwards admits affair = Fast sex reward: admiration fades
(by Dharam)

Protest attempt at Olympic event
Protest attempt at Olympics event = I stop a petty act, tempt men's revolt
(by Dharam)


Aug 8, 2008

Obama, McCain reveal pop culture favorites
Obama, McCain reveal pop culture favorites = Rivals feature comic Batman over populace?
(by Dharam)

Alleged Barack Obama death threat leads to arrest in Miami
Alleged Barack Obama death threat leads to arrest in Miami = He a rioter. Lad had a terrible aim to damage black statesman.
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Cop demands free coffee, but not at this Starbucks
Officer Barbara Nevers of the Belmont police = "Free coffee? Love it!" (Barista branch problem, no?)
(by Adie Pena)

Embattled Detroit mayor jailed for violating bond terms
Detroit, Michigan's Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick = Why "crime" tag? I do take part in immoral kicks!
(by Adie Pena)

US Cuts Non-Humanitarian Aid to Mauritania After Coup
US cuts non-humanitarian aid to Mauritania after coup = Situation at Africa so unhuman, nut. America ain't proud.
(by Pinchas Aronas)

The Male Unbifurcated Garment: Letter carrier Dean Peterson wants to wear a kilt on the job
The Male Unbifurcated Garment = The future decent mailman garb
(by Adie Pena)

'Psychic' Uri Geller reaches copyright settlement
The 'paranormalist' Uri Geller = There, girls, real manipulator!
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Aug 7, 2008

'Psychic' Uri Geller reaches copyright settlement
'Paranormalist' Uri Geller = I rue program isn't all real
(by Adie Pena)

Obama and Abortion
Obama and Abortion = No taboo? A mad brain!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Greyhound scraps ads after Canada bus beheading
"There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.'" = Reverse the above! Assure fear on a Greyhound!
(by Adie Pena)

Paris Hilton for President. Rihanna is Her Running Mate
And Paris Hilton's running mate? = Darn! I'm putting Rihanna, no less!
(by Adie Pena)

Canadian gymnast to win Olympic GOLD
He, the deft, lithe gymnast, may now top in ... = ... the Games of the Twenty-Ninth Olympiad.
(by Adie Pena)

Rice Calls for Condemnation of Coup in Mauritania
Rice Calls for Condemnation of Coup in Mauritania = O, anemic African turmoil pronounced as fictional!
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Aug 6, 2008

Booger is back: Woman receives 5 cloned puppies
Booger is back: Woman receives five cloned puppies = If dog proves superb, we make inconceivable copies.
(by Dharam)

Bush Presses North Korea on Weapons
Bush Presses North Korea on Weapons = One bothers nuke-war-phase sponsors
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Indian brothers sued by Scrabble owners in US
Agarwalla brothers of Calcutta are sued = To face rather a tad legal "Scrabulous" war.
(by Adie Pena)

Texas executes Mexican killer amid international protests
Jose Ernesto Medellin = Molester 'joins' needle
(by Pinchas Aronas)

British athletes bare all for advertising campaign
Gregor Tait, Rebecca Romero and Phillips Idowu = Hi! Dig bare local recruits promoting Powerade.
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 5, 2008

'Powerade' Innergear campaign shows athletes as you've never seen them before
'Powerade' Innergear = Need power? I arrange!
'Powerade' Innergear = Need rare power? Gain!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Antony Worrall Thompson: 'Sorry, I mean fat hen, not henbane'
Chef Antony Worrall Thompson's Hyoscyamus niger = Why my sons hallucinate on fresh gastronomy crop.
(by Adie Pena)

Democrats scramble on oil
Democrats scramble on oil = Slim Obama's control-creed
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Morgan Freeman in 'Serious' Condition After Crash
The actor Morgan Freeman = "No, there! Get a man from car!"
(by Adie Pena)

At Least 4 Killed In Oregon Plane Crash
At Least four Killed In Oregon Plane Crash = Real act or no, falling plane striked house!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Bosnia Fugitive Is Hero to Some, Butcher to Others
The Bosnian Serb Army General Ratko Mladic = 'Cos barbarian's killed great many other men!
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 4, 2008

People publishes first pictures of Brandolina twins
Brangelina twins = Big natal winners
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Bush to walk diplomatic tightrope on Asia trip
Bush to walk diplomatic tightrope on Asia trip = Adapt to script in talk, or humiliate. Big whoops!
(by Dharam)

Morgan Freeman badly injured in accident
Actor Morgan Freeman = Me not manager for car
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Bush travels to Asia for talks, Olympics
Bush travels to Asia for talks, Olympics = Truth: So asks assembly political favor
(by Dharam)

Tropical Storm Edouard gaining speed over Gulf
Tropical Storm Edouard gaining speed over Gulf = I'd go protect our pained U.S. villages from danger!
(by Adie Pena)

Alexander Solzhenitsyn, gulag chronicler, dies
Alexander Solzhenitsyn = He sez: "Nix nasty land lore?"
(by Adie Pena)

Obama Leads, Pessimism Reigns Among Key Group
Obama Leads, Pessimism Reigns Among Key Group = Rags' gossips make ebony old man's image impure
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Tropical Storm Edouard gaining speed over Gulf
Tropical Storm Edouard gaining speed over Gulf = I'd go protect our pained U.S. villages from danger!
(by Adie Pena)

Russian novelist, former dissident, Solzhenitsyn dead
Russian novelist, former dissident, Solzhenitsyn dead = Sir seized for treason; men did study slant in his novels.
(by Dharam)

Christina Applegate treated for breast cancer
The actress Christina Applegate = A cancer? It appears the slightest.
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 3, 2008

California Is Among States Struggling With Budgets
California is among states struggling with budgets = Searching sums?..Guilt? Arnold is totting big fat wages!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

McCain vetting Va. congressman as possible veep
Virginia Rep. Eric Cantor is his running mate? = Our "McCain Veep in training" is rising rather
(by Adie Pena)

Dark genius of Bruce Ivins lurked in Army's germ lab
Dr. Bruce Edwards Ivins = Described drawn virus
(by Adie Pena)

As Tensions Rise for Egypt's Christians, Officials Call Clashes Secular
As tensions rise for Egypt's Christians = Christ's priests reasoning, - 'Is no safety'
(by Pinchas Aronas)

World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC
"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." = A southern Sumerian's whimsicality from nineteen hundred B.C. highlights an odor-accompanied warm move.
(by Adie Pena)

Don't streak, get drunk or sleep outside
"Foreigners must respect Chinese laws while in China and must not harm China's national security or damage social order." = "During the Olympics, at no time shall a serious American coach ass utter swear words at nice French, English or Indian men."
(by Adie Pena)

Police hunt stolen rare shark
Police hunt stolen rare shark = Or let's help search in our tank!
(by Adie Pena)

Doping Suspensions Deal Blow to Olympic Dreams
The Beijing Olympics: "One World, One Dream" = Ineligible champs' joy need end tomorrow
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 2, 2008

The State Requests That Citizen Liu Win Gold
Chinese sportsman Liu Xiang = Is a lion, expect smashing run!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

GM posts $15.5 billion 2nd-quarter loss
General Motors = Largest? No more!
(by Adie Pena)
General Motors = Lost more. Anger!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Theater villain charged in real-life whodunit
Handyman and amateur actor Bruce Hummel = The drama, chum? An actual murder by one man!
(by Adie Pena)

LaBeouf lawyers: Left hand was 'crushed'
The Hollywood star Shia LaBeouf's accident = Oh, woe! It's basically a crushed left hand, too.
(by Adie Pena)

LA officials set sights on limiting paparazzi
City Councilman Zine proposes "personal safety zone" = Scene concept: To rein in some sly, nosy, foul paparazzi!
(by Adie Pena)

Minnesotans observe anniversary of bridge collapse
An interstate (the I-35W) bridge in Minneapolis collapses = Alas! Nation saw the terrible incident; 35 people missing?
(by Adie Pena)

Lindsay Lohan fires back at police 'gay' remark
The pop singer Lindsay Dee Lohan = Headlines helped spin: "Gay or Not?"
(by Adie Pena)


Aug 1, 2008

Elizabeth Taylor visits hospital, to return home
Elizabeth Taylor indisposed? = Old? Her speedy stabilization!
(by Adie Pena)

Report: Anthrax suspect kills self before filing of criminal charges
Tylenol and codeine = Ended lonely action
(by Adie Pena)

Cell Changes May Help Lou Gehrig's Research
Lou Gehrig's disease = Is held as egregious
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Apparent suicide in anthrax case
Bruce E. Ivins = Virus, be nice!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Phoenix lander confirms ice in Martian soil
Phoenix lander confirms ice in Martian soil = Mix for me an "Old Irish Inn" real tonic in space!
(by Adie Pena)



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